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Rajes Govender

Personality goals are futile

Updated: Aug 24, 2023

Embrace Your Unique Personality


Have you ever felt like getting rid of part of your personality that keeps getting you into trouble? Do you sometimes wish you had the personality of a person you admire to be like them?

Many of us want to get rid of parts of our personality in moments when we feel we are not being the best we should be

Many of us want to get rid of parts of our personality in moments when we feel we are not being the best we should be. “Should”, “must”, “got to”, “have to”, and “need to” are all imperatives used in our language indicating that we are subordinating to what some outer authority values rather than what we value.


This in itself challenges us and starts to bring out the worst in our personality.


When what we value the most is challenged, the darker side of our personality shows itself.

The Futility of Changing Your Inherent Personality

To want to get rid of part of ourselves i.e., part of our personality at times is futile. Hence personality goals are futile. Your personality will always be who you are. We are not perfect. We are not imperfect. We are a perfect combination of perfect and imperfect living in a universe where positive and negative combined in equal amounts are light and love. This is our divine being.


The Influence of Perception and Environment on Persona

Our personality is the sum of all the personas (i.e., masks) we wear and display on different occasions. The personas we wear are very much affected by how we perceive what is happening around us. When we are surrounded by people we perceive support what we value the most, we bring out our good personas.


When we are surrounded by people we perceive challenges what we value the most, we bring out our bad personas. It is as simple as that.


When we challenge what others value the most, we bring out their bad personas which can result in us reacting with our bad persona.


Cultivating Balance Through Value Alignment and Transformative Challenges
Cultivating Balance Through Value Alignment and Transformative Challenges

No matter what we do, we will encounter support & challenges. To be able to bring out more of a balanced persona it is best to clarify what we value the most and live a life aligned with what we value the most.

As challenges rear their head, we are then more readily able to transform the challenges to opportunities that serve us so that we achieve our goals and dreams in the area of what we value the most. This enables us to be objective rather than reacting and displaying our bad personas.


So, get comfortable with who you are as is rather than setting personality goals to get rid of part of who you are. There is no one-sided personality that can exist all the time of only good and not bad. Set goals aligned to what you value the most and aim to achieve those goals. This is where self empowerment skills accelerates results rather than trying to change who you are.


Live a life aligned with what you value the most for the greatest probability of a more balanced personality.


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